Shino: Behind the Shades
by Simple Chronometrophobic Girl
Summary: What starts out as a truly IDIOTIC opinon on whats under Shinos shades, turns into a random adventure, complete with Tobi and other akatsuki appearances... okay. Lots of Tobi. Rated T because... well, who knows what might happen?
1. The opinion

When the day grew long and the sun began to descend, they struck. A force so powerful, they were nearly unstoppable. I should have died that day, but I didn't. Why? I have asked myself that time and time again. Part of me hoped it was God, helping me to fulfill my destiny, another part just thought it was plain luck, but I know deep down, that if it had not been for my comrade, I would have died that fateful day, my bones buried in the sand, never being able to feel the suns warm rays ever again.

It happened on a Monday. We had been sent to the desert on a routine mission, just a pick up and drop off kind of thing, and me and the team I was assisting thought we'd pretty much come prepared. Although... I dont think anyone can come prepared for an ambush of forty ninjas, all jounin rank or higher, jumping out at you from the very sand-dunes you'd assumed to be the just the same as the other trillion you'd past half an hour ago. At least, not on a routine mission.

As I mentioned before, we were clearly outnumbered, forty against four, so you could expect we'd aquire casualties. That knowledge still didn't prepare me for the horrors I saw that day. After only a few minutes of fighting, Kiba was the first to go. He was surrounded, and even as he called for help, I knew I couldn't do anything. They were too fast, too strong, too experienced. I could only watch in horror as their kunai all flew at once and Kibas head went flying, letting out a gush of blood, the pure terror still present on the lifeless face. I will never forget that face.

Next went Hinata. Though she was weak from blood-loss, the girl kept fighting untill the very end when, in her selflessness, she threw herself in front of me to protect me from another kunai trap they had just sprung. And even as the blood poured from her chest and her breathing grew ragged, the Hyugga took down three enemies with her. Her selflessness has still inspired me until this very day.

Finally, it was just me and Shino. We were both injured, me nursing a broken leg, Shino cradling a cut up arm, and I thought for sure we'd be goners. We were now fighting at least ten jounin each, and the bodies of the rest lay scattered around, tossed to the side like they were nothing as our various jutsus explosions cleared the area. I regret to say, that I could not even recognize my own friends faces, there was so much death, it was like a fog, just merging all of the victims into just one, black hole in my memory. No one should live to experience something like that, I know this now, and you would think the memories themselves would have killed me by now, for how much they keep me screaming at night. But no, despite everything, I have survived, all thanks to Shino.

The fight went on until the sun had set and then risen again, and despite my best of hopes, I knew none of us would make it out alive. Sure, we'd taken out most of the other guys, but it was still three against two, and seeing how depleted our chakra levels were compared to theirs, those odds looked very dangerous. I motioned for Shino to get the hell out while he still could, but he didn't just listen. I remember feeling very worried then.

Out of the two of us, Shino had sustained the most injuries, and my eyes flickered towards him as I saw his form falter a bit, as he refused my order. Unfortunately for us... the enemy saw it too. It was all I could do to shout as a sand-nin, seven foot tall and ugly as hell, rushed towards him and struck him straight in the chest, and Shino flew back from the enormous force of the blow, and lay on the ground, still. Angry, I let out a scream and killed the guy, and I relished the feeling as his ugly mug twisted up in confusion as I finished him off. Another guy rushed to help his team-mate, but I finished him off too, my pure rage being more than enough fuel to outmatch him.

Finally, it was just me and one other guy, the last remaining out of the forty or so that had attacked us in the beginning. I stood protectively in front of Shinos body, but now I was weaker than ever as he came closer menacingly, an actual smile gracing his face as he openly contemplated different methods of killing me.

Suddenly, I heard a groan from behind me, and I swivelled around. Shino was alive. Sure, his breathing sounded as though he was choking on his own blood, and his chest had a gaping whole in it, but he was still actually alive, and he was moving his lips, as if to say something to me in his last moments.

"Move... out of the way..." He whispered, and then coughed as I reached over him, aiming to carry him and just run. The enemy ninja was still a few metres away from me after all, if I used the last of my stength, I might have been able to use a head-start get us to a hospital perhaps, though whether there was one nearby or not, I wasn't sure. Quickly I explained my plan to him and moved to pick him up, but he resisted with surpising strength and pushed my hands away with surprising force.

"I said... move out of the way," He said, gritting his teeth. Of course I just stayed in front of him, and turned to face my enemy who had graciously let me have my little chat, all the while simply watching with amusement. He made a little move as though to ask if I was ready to fight him, which really got me fired up, and then, when he took my rage as a yes, rushed towards me with obvious enjoyment, relishing the fact that I had nowhere to run.

Now, my memory might be a little blurry when it comes to what happened next, but I know the ninja was probably one of the fastest I had ever seen, and my life and ambitions flashed before my eyes as I knew he was going to kill me within the next three seconds. Then all of a sudden, I felt a yank on my leg as Shino pushed me to the side, and I let out a gasp as he threw his glasses to the ground.

The rest went in slow motion. There was a great flash, as a rainbow coloured light poured from his eyes.

"SUPER RAINBOW LAZER BEAMS!!!" He screamed, and all went blank as the rainbow completely covered the man, and I passed out. When I finally woke up, the man was dead, and so was Shino, who had valiantly given his life to save mine. And that is my story.

...

"Naruto, I think that was the worst story I think I have ever heard in my entire _life_," Sasuke commented, his face serious, and his look arrogant and pointed. Naruto glowered back at him, and felt his cheeks go red from anger.

"Well I'd like to see you do better, teme!"

"Oh I think I already did. Though its not really much of an accomplishment when you already sabotaged your chances of even getting a D in the beginning. Do you even know what NON-FICTION means?"

"Sure I do!" Narutos cheeks puffed out as he crossed his arms and glowered, "Fiction means real stuff, and non-fiction means not real,"

"WRONG dobe, you got it mixed up. Fiction is fake, NON fiction is real. Youre such an idi-"

"HEY TEME!! YOU TAKE THAT BAC-"

"ENOUGH!!!" The voice of Iruka-sensei filled the room and Naruto stopped halfway through his sentance, "Good," he said, surprised they had actually listened, as the whole class shut up and looked to see what he would say.

"Now Naruto, that _was_ a _very good_ story but..." He began, trying to keep the peace as the two enemies looked daggers at eachother, "You didn't fill in the requirement that I was supposed to mark you on. Now, nevermind the non-ficiton, you were supposed to write a rational report, trying to explain the mysteries of the ninja world. What you gave me, was a touching (if blood-thirsty) account of a battle which never happened in which you praise a comrade who apparently killed himself to save you. _How _am I suppossed to mark this?"

"Oh but I did fulfill the requirement, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto defended himself loudly, "The mystery was: whats actually behind Shino's sunglasses! _Everyone_ wants to know that!"

"And you came up with: '_Rainbow_ powers'? Thats the dumbest idea I have ever heard," Kiba cut in, clearly irked by Narutos story, "And what do you mean: 'I died after only a few minutes with a look of complete terror on my face'? How come Hinata gets to die bravely? (No offense Hinata)"

"None taken," Hinata whispered as she blushed at Narutos apparent compliments to her in his story. How she wished she could measure up to them in real life... she sighed sorrowfully as Naruto jumped back into the conversation, eager to defend himself.

""Because thats how I wrote it! Sakura helped me with the phrases and everything!" He said stubbornly, squinting his eyes as he stood with his arms folded. Immediately all attention went straight to Sakura.

"I- I didn't know what he was going to use it for! I thought he was just using it for a prank or something..." She blurted out as she felt the stares, wincing as the pitch of her voice climbed higher near the end.

"Well, she obviously didn't edit the bit where you mentioned _lazers_ for his eyes, only _you _would think of something that dumb," Ino stepped in, and Sakura felt a little surge of grattitude, as she realised her 'frenemy' was actually sticking up for her a bit.

"Yeah Naruto, that was a little disrespectful if you ask me," Shikamaru droned as he was woken up by a sharp nudge in the side from Ino, then promptly went back to sleep.

"Well, how am I suppossed to know whats behind Shinos shades? He never takes them off!"

"Well maybe you should just _ask_ him then, I'm sure Shino..." Kiba trailed off as the whole class turned to look at Shinos seat, eager to pressure the quiet bug-lover into spilling the beans (or stripping the shades, whatever you think fits).

The seat was now empty.

* * *

So there it is, the first chapter! Hope you like it!!! :) I tried to keep them somewhat in character, but theyre probably going to go OOC eventually, if my writing style has anything to say about that. :D Well, anyway, hope you liked it, next chapter should be up by TOMORROW. :D

Well, Review I guess, tell me what you think!


	2. WTF a rabbit?

As Shino ran with amazing speed out of his class, he felt a small bit of a feeling he was not usually very prone to: embarrassment, and, somewhere at the back of it, shame.

Though Shino had certainly felt embarrassment before (Kiba had made sure of that), he was not used to being ashamed, especially not of his glasses, the main identifier of the Aburame clan. Slowly, he slowed his run down into a walk, and then finally stopped as he reached a great lake, peering in to it curiously.

There on the water, his reflection lay, his expression seemingly bored. Shino was shocked at the startling contrast between the swirling emotions on the inside, and his stoic poker face on the outside. Restlessly, he felt his bugs swirling inside him as well, but from his face, you would never be able to tell. Cautiously, he moved his finger down closer to the water, as if to see if the feeling on his reflections face could merge into what he was feeling on the inside.

"Hey Shino! You okay!?" The voice of Kiba broke his concentration as he turned around in a rush, his finger leaving a delicate ripple as it just skimmed the surface of the lake. The truth was, Shino had been taken by surprise. It was not usual for him to be caught of guard like that. Just proof of how much that comment about his eyes really irked him... Kiba thought as he tried to study his friends face, but sighed as he realized that was probably impossible.

"You okay man?" He tried again, still looking at Shinos face. From the outside he looked a little annoyed, but still detatched. Kiba immediately knew the guy was seriously bugged by the whole thing, "Hey man... uh... theres nothing to be upset about right? Naruto... hes an idiot, says things without thinking. Sure we're all curious as to whats under the shades, but hey we wont _force_ you to take them off or anything..." He faded off, though the worry in his eyes spoke volumes as he studied Shinos face closely.

He sighed as his face calmed back down (though from far away you would assume he'd just changed to a different way of being bored).

"Im... sorry," Shino said, as he stood tall once again, "I guess I... didn't care much for Narutos story,"

"Damn right you didn't care for it! You ran away! Though I guess if I knew that the ending was going to be like that, I would have ran away too, its so craptastic..." Kibas familiar grin broke out as he turned away, back into the direction of the school, "I mean, geezus, I think I heard Akamaru _whimpering_ at the pure craptasticness of that story... Hey, you coming man?" He added warmly as Shino stood by the lake, still showing no sign of moving, even after Kiba had already taken a few steps, trying to egg him on.

"No... I think I'll stay here for a while..." He replied, as if they were parting from studying at the library and he wanted to get some extra credit... or something. Kiba shrugged.

"Oh well, Suit yourself. But please remember to come back... we're all kinda worried about you, you know?"

"..." Shino thoght about the meaningfulness of Kibas statement, "...Craptastic is not a word..." He merely commented.

"Sure it is!" Kiba replied enthusiastically, now convinced that Shino was alright. After all, if he could change the subject, he was fine, "Right next to doodiddlywatt and floop! Look it up if you don't believe me- see ya!" And with that he ran off, probably remembering about his _own_ essay he had to read out.

Shino simply stood there, watching after him in thought. _I wonder what mystery of the world he tried to explain... _Shino thought absentmindedly as he went back to the lake and kneeled by it, swirling his fingers in the water- whether I can _smile_ or not? Geesh. These smiley people would be the end of me-

*RUSTLE*

Shino could swear he actually felt his ears prick up as the sound of something, no- some_one _moved in the bushes, as if about to attack. Immediately he stood up, straightening his back, cocking his head to the side as he concentrated. There was no more sound. Probably the wind... he reasoned as he kneeled back down, now swirling the water more restlessly, his eyes flicking towards the direction of the sound more than once.

*SNAP*

The sound of a twig snapping brought Shino to his feet again. The Clearspring Lake (where he was currently situated at) was fenced off from the forest (So the animals couldn't, you know- urinate in the lake some liked to _drink_ from) so there were no animals (duh), which could only mean that- Shino shook his head forcefully. No, I'm probably over-reacting. Just a little confused since the-

*RUSTLE* *CRACK* SNAP* *POP*

-Okay, stuff it. Shino was going to check it out... He rushed over to the area of bush where the sounds were coming from, rushed through a few handsigns, ready to attack the intruder, or else just punch him for being so annoying the son of a-

*POOF*

- rabbit? Shino just stood there, dumbfounded. What the hell was a rabbit doing here? Slowly and cautiously, he picked it up, surprised at how soft and fluffy the fur was. This didn't _look_ like a wild rabbit, there was a name-tag, a name-tag that read: Property of T-

Shino felt a rock slam into his head, and he fell down, the world spinning around him as what seemed to be a black curtain stole his tinted vision, so that all he could see was black.

Well, and a little red too, he suppossed.

* * *

Okay, so not quite so funny as my other story I know, but this is moving the plot along!!!! Yeah, Shinos probably gonna go OOC after this, cause I honestly have NO IDEA how to write Shinos thoughts :P Anyway, I hope its at least interesting... :) And if you want randomness, the next chapter is pretty random, if I do say so myself. :) Anyway, I feel like Im cheating you by just uploading this chapter by itself, so I'll upload the next chapter NOW. :D So READ ON!!! :3


	3. Crap on the carpet?

When Shino finally woke up, it was not to the soothing sound of beeping medical equipment and soft hospital bed as he would have liked, but to a very sore head, and an earsplitting screech as two figures stood over him, one of them shouting most... loud.

"What the hell is this hmm?!!!! What were you thinking un???!!!!! MY room! MINE!!!"

"But, Tobi was thinking since you have the biggest room-"

"Yeah un! I have the biggest room. ME!!!! MY space where you un are NOT ALLOWED!!!!" Shino could now make out that the taller one (the earsplitting one) was blond, and appeared to be wearing some... sack thing and had long hair, in a very familiar hairstyle he could only think of as...

"Ino?" He questioned quietly, as 'Ino' in question turned to face him in dread, and the other one- who apeared to have an orange face bounded over to him cheerfully, and stuck his face close to Shinos, to get a look at him (much too close, in Shinos opinion, though he suppossed it must be pretty hard to see when all youve got is a tiny hole for an eye).

"Im not emo, Im a happy boy!!!" He yelled cheerfully in Shinos face, "Tobis and Deidara-sempais hair might _look_ emo, but Tobi is not, that why Tobi has his happy mask!!!! Deidaras a bit emo though," He added, seeming to study 'Deidara' warily, and then skipped, one second _before_ Deidara struck out at him.

That was weird... Shino thought, as he studied the two bickering figures as they steadily became more defined in his rapidly clearing vision. It seemed like Tobi knew that was going to happen... and then as he looked down at their 'sacks' they were wearing, he felt a feeling of dread come over him. These weren't sacks, they were cloaks with red clouds on them, which could only mean that these guys were from-

"Leader-sama says Deidara-sempai should stop being so mean to Tobi," Tobi whined, as he ducked and dodged the number of attacks his opponent kept on aiming at him.

"Oh yeah un? And why would he say that hmm?" Deidara now stopped flailing at the orange faced annoyance and sat down on his bed, now drinking a glass of lemonade that had miraculously appeared from out of nowhere.

"Tobi thinks it pisses him off," Deidara now choked on his lemonade and he spluttered rudely, thrashing around a bit until he had hacked the last of the offending lemon juice out of his throat, then drank more lemon juice, which he immediately choked on and hacked out.

Shino had to resist the urge to shake his painful head. These two were obviously idiots. He could probably escape now before they even noticed- but his arms were tied. Literally. Or maybe he should say his whole body was tied, the rope wrapping around him all the was from his shoulders to his ankles, so that he looked like he was pretending to be some demented looking worm. Shino struggled a bit more, and then briefly wondered which one of them had tied him up so thouroughly. Probably Tobi, he thought. The Deidara one looks like he wants nothing to do with me.

"Hey un, hes movin around now, better get him outta my room hmm or someones gonna get some clay stuck right up his-"

"AWW!!! But Tobi thinks he is cute!!! Tobi wants to keep him!" Shino felt himself go pale. Oh God. No. He'd assumed that out of the two that Deidara would be the most likely to be... inclined to boys, but somehow the thought of Tobi being so seemed a whole lot creepier.

"Are you kidding me? Look at him hmm, youre scaring the crap outta him, and if he craps on my carpet you are dead," What? Crap on the carpet? They had some nerve...

"Tobi will clean up the mess!!! Tobi will CLEAN!!!" Okay, something was seriously wrong with these two. They both seemed intent on the notion that he was gonna crap the carpet. Shino felt furious at minimum, but kept his calm. Maybe he could use this idiocy to... an advantage?

"Yeah right, like thats gonna happen un, By CLEAN, your probably gonna smear the crap _into_ the carpet, which I'll have to burn or something hmm." Tobi was now in tears.

"You don't think Tobi can handle responsibility!!! Tobi will put him in a cage! And Tobi will clean it everyday!! He will have a good life full of loving comp- compan- compan-"

"Companionship"

"Compashit," Tobi sniffed.

"Yeah, exactly," Deidara said, and then his eyes seemed to soften. He moved closer to Tobi, opening his arms as if about to embrace him in a hug. Tobi ran towards him gleefully, only to be whacked to the side in a mean calculated move.

"But NO." Deidara stated, his decision final, "You cant keep the damn thing un, it belongs in the wild," And with that he reached over to Shino. Yes, he thought, he's going to release me, good. Wait- why is he still reaching past me? Im still here. Hello? Im still he-

"No rabbits ever again hmm?" Deidara said as he pulled a rabbit Shino had not noticed out from behind his head, and chucked it out the window.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Tobi yelled, falling to his knees, "...Whats for breakfast?"

"Its lunchtime,"

"Tobi wants waffles,"

"Its lunchtime un,"

"Does Deidara-sempai want waffles? Tobi will put jam on them, and... more jam on them, and... fishsticks and..."

"Tobi un, get out,"

"Okey Pie!"

The door slammed shut as Tobi ran out, and Deidara leaned against it heavily, letting himself sink to the floor as he did so. Making him right at eye-level with Shino.

"Hmm, _you're_ not going to crap on the carpet now, are you?"

This... was weird.

* * *

I just have one thing to say to you: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING!!!! :D WOOT!!! Sorry for the OOCness, I cant help it!!!! :3 Yeah, review to tell me how much you like, or hate this story! :) Oh yeah, and in case you dont get it, all that stuff about crapping the carpet and releasing it into the wild? That was about the rabbit. JUST if you dont get it. I think its sorta funny both ways :P Anyway- Next chapter- up TOMORROW!!! ... probably.

Well, gotta go!

See ya!!! :D


	4. Smurf and pale feet gossip

It was now five past five (pm) and the subject had still not crapped on his carpet. Deidara was happy.

It was at five past six when the annoying blonde commented again on the fact Shino had not crapped on the carpet, much to the fury of Shino, but he just kept quiet, holding it in.

It was at five past seven when Toby finished his breakfast.

"Un, How the hell can you eat so much food?" Deidara waved his arms exasperated as he saw the food seem to disappear under the cheerful Tobis mask.

"Tobi puts it in his mouth, and then chews!"

"...Forget it un," Deidara simply watched as he polished off another plate of fish-sticks and waffles, shuddering slightly in disgust. Then he looked at the subject. Well, he wasn't really a subject or anything like in a lab, but Deidara liked to mentally call him that because of the somewhat scientisty aura this guy gave off. The glasses were cool though, he thought nonchallantly, and then started as Tobi finally pushed away the plate, looking as if he was entirely satisfied.

"Tobi is finished!" He exclaimed gleefully, and then pointed to the table near Deidara, "Deidara-sempai, why do you not eat Tobis special fish stick waffles? Theyre your favourite!"

"Hmm, Tobi, if I wanted to eat this slop un, I would have eaten it right? And anyway, with your cooking un, its probably poisonous or something,"

"No it cant be!!!" Tobi looked genuinely shocked at this statement, "Tobi added LOVE!!!"

"Exactly my point," Deidara shrugged nonchallantly and lowered the plate to the ground, "Tell ya what hmm, your little captive here can have it," Shino gulped. If they were going to force that down his throat, he was sure he would die, the waffle looked that vile. The fishsticks still had eyes for petes sake! EYES!

"No!" Tobi pouted, making Shino sigh with relief, "Tobi is sick of Deidara-sempai always refusing Tobis food which Tobi slaves over a hot stove to make especially for Deidara-kun, and Deidara-sempai always hits Tobi and Tobi wants to hug Deidara-sempai but Deidara sempai always blows Tobi up and Tobi doesn't like it," Shino wondered if there was a point in there somewhere, "Fish are healthy," Apparently not.

"Ok, look, I haven't hit you in a REALLY long time un, because of Leaders orders hmm, its been SEVEN hours already," Deidara said, the tension now visible on his face, "But if you force me to eat that vile disgusting slop un, then I will not hesitate to kill you. You are dead if you so much as-" Deidara was cut off as Tobi jumped up into the air and started shoving the 'waffles' down his throat.

"Tobi wants you to at least try some! Try some LOVE!!!" Tobi exclaimed as he finally stopped with the shoving and left Deidara to struggle to either spit out or swallow them. From the way he was flailing about, Shino was guessing he'd prefer to spit them out, but was forced to swallow them due to the sheer force Tobi had applied in pushing them down his throat. Absentmindedly, Shino gulped. From the purplish tinge that was coming on to Deidaras face, he could tell it tasted the same, or possibly worse than it looked, if that was possible.

"AAAHRGH ACK UH GAAAAH!" Deidara slputtered as he continued flailing, and then lay still as he dropped to the floor, silent. All was quiet.

...

"Is Deidara-sempai dea-"

"YOU UN ARE SO DEAD!!!" Deidara yelled, as he jumped to his feet and launched himself towards the orange faced trouble maker, took out a kunai, then dropped it and decided to use his hands instead as he chased after his target. For a second, Tobi stood still, as if considering fighting him, then he screamed like a little girl and ran away, Deidara thundering after him.

Shino just stared after them. Okay... that was strange... he thought, and suddenly he noticed the dropped kunai that was sitting on the ground conviniently in front of his mouth. Now, normally, Shino was very cautious about little 'coincidences'¨like this, but after what he had just experienced today, he just wanted to get the hell out of the place, regardless of traps. He knew by the way that Tobis mask had glinted earlier, that if he was still here when the two of them got back, he was going to have to eat the fish waffles, he was sure of it.

Quickly and skillfully he sliced through the first few ropes with his mouth, then wriggling out his arms he proceeded to cut through the rest. Though it did a very good job of keeping him captive, he realized that there was an awful lot of wasted rope used to truss him up, which made him take a little longer than he normally would have to escape.

With speed that could dazzle others, he raced over to the window which Deidara had thrown the bunny out earlier and peered out only to be dissappointed. It was a closed off section of garden, surrounded by walls too high to be true and yet he realized they were in fact, real. And there were quite a lot of bunnies lounging around on the sunkissed lawn, all of which Shino suspected had once belonged to Tobi. From the looks of it, Deidara and Tobi had been doing the whole bunny thing for a _long time. _

Okay, Shino thought, his analytical mind motoring as fast as he could manage. So the windows out, I'll just have to go through the door then. And he rushed out of Deidaras bedroom, anxious to escape.

The first obstacle he met was: The hallway. Long and narrow, it was the definition of creepy, and Shino could not shake the feeling that each and every one of the doors lining it lead to someones room. The doors all had some form of customization on it, whether it was pictures of flowers painted on the door, or simply a great big sign on the door saying TOBI (with the 'b' backwards no less) and this made Shino feel very uncomfortable. If he made a wrong move, he could have one or _all_ the akatsuki jumping for his throat at the same time. Shino jogged quietly along and glanced back quickly.

Deidaras door, as he had expected, mainly had pictures of Tobi being blown up, and a great big 'NO TOBI ALLOWED' with a silhouette of the man himself with a furiously scribbled in x. There was also something about art being a bang or something, but Shino didn't pay much attention as he again turned his head back to the hallway and again ran furiously, making sure to run especially fast past what he assumed could only be Tobis room.

When he reached the end of the corridor, he turned right, on instinct and rushed into the first non-decorated door he saw. It appeared to be a kitchen. Damn, was the only thought that ran through his mind as he scanned the room, looking for any alternative exits (Or weapons, whichever he saw first). Suddenly he heard footsteps. He froze, and then thinking quickly, jumped under the table. It was a good choice, as the next thing he heard was the footsteps coming into the kitchen. For a second he thought about bolting, after all, one pursuer wasn't too bad, when suddenly another pair of footsteps could be heard, and Shino stayed put as both anonymous people sat at the table. All he could see was their feet.

It wouldn't have been too hard to deal with the vision of two sets of feet under the tablecloth, except for two things.

One: he could tell they were eating something, which meant they'd probably be there for ages, and

Two: One set of feet was... blue. Shino didn't know why this disturbed him so much, but it just did. He couldn't help but wonder about what this persons (presumably) blue face looked like, and all he kept coming back to him was... smurf. Somehow he knew that putting the happy face of a smurf to two big blue feet was not good if he wanted to remain sane, but he couldn't help it. He decided to distract himself by listening to their conversation.

"Hey, what do you think of Deidara?" Smurf asked, not in the high happy voice Shino had pictured but a deep rumbling voice that could make your enemies fear you. Under the table he twiddled his (utterly ridiculous) purple painted toes.

"You know what I think," The cold emotionless voice of his pale companion answered, sounding smooth as velvet. He also, from what Shino could see, had his toenails painted the same shade of purple. Shino normally could jump to alot of ideas, but the only thought that he thought was rational was it was some kind of dress code or something, ridiculous as that may be. Either that or these two liked to paint eachothers nails at slumber parties.

"Yeah, well, Somethings up with him. I seriously think something is very wrong with him," The smurf sounded kind of worried, but pale feet just seemed to shake it off.

"What, you mean apart from the fact he has mouths on his hands and stomach?" The sarcasm rang clearly even though his tone didn't change. He could see the smurfs feet move a little, and he could tell the smurf was chuckling. But then he became serious.

"Yeah, thats not what I mean, though that is strange as well, I must admit," Suddenly, the smurf shifted in his seat, and leaned forward, as if to say something confidential. He lowered his voice, "Yeah, well, anyway this morning, I went to the Konoha early market right, " His voice lowered more as he toned it down to a whisper, "And I saw him, chatting to this girl, selling flowers,"

Apparently, this got the attention of pale feet, as Shino could see he sat straighter.

"Flowers?" He said, almost incredulously, "He was selling... flowers?"

"Well yeah!" Smurf leaned back, the important part of the story told.

"...How do you know it was him?"

"Well, he was wearing this baggy apron thing that threw me off for a second, but the blue eyes and the blond hair combo... you couldn't miss that, and the hairstyle... dead on. The only diference was he took _off_ some of the make-up, and the hair seemed brighter for some reason, but it was a really sunny day," The smurf gossiped easily and confidently, and Shino couldn't help but smirk. They'd obviously just made the same mistake he had the minute he'd woken up in this nightmare. Even though he was amazed at how two people could look so much alike if you just glanced at them, he knew that if you _really_ looked at them you'd see the difference. The smurf had obviously just had a passing glance.

"...weird..." It was almost even harder to believe that pale feet was actually buying it, "Something really _is_ wrong with him..."

Then pale feets feet shuddered dramatically.

"Maybe hes a little too feminine..." He continued as the smurf, still oblivious simply sank back further in his chair.

"Whaddya mean?" He asked suspiciously.

"Well, it seems like theres only two resons for this, don't you think? Either Deidaras actually a girl..." Shino would have choked on something if he had been drinking or eating anything. The smurf, unfortunately, was, and did. He burst out laughing.

"If Deidaras a girl, he has like, no rack at all!!"

"Okay then, so he's not a girl. That leaves just one possible reason then. Hes gay," Shino was expecting some kind of a 'what the hell' response because of all that build up, but surprisingly, the impact of that statement was not so great.

"... Sooo?" Shino too, was wondering why this statement brought such fear into pale foot.

"So, he likes guys!" Ahh, that was the reason.

"And?" Shino had to resist the urge of whacking the blue feet because of his stupidness.

"We're guys!!" The velvety voice was not so velvet as he resorted to shouting to get through to the smurfs rather thick skull. Shino could immediately see that it had the desired effect.

"OH!" Smurf realized, and then added in a confused voice, "Hey but, didn't you two go to that hotspring toge-"

"HEY GUYS!!!" Deidaras voice interuppted them in their gossip session, and everyone screamed, including Shino.

* * *

Hehehe do you think maybe Itatchi and Deidara had a 'moment'? lol XD. I dunno. Yeah, I'll put up another chapter cause I feel like it today. :)

.... and thats all I think I really have to say.... Except for **THANK YOU TO YOU REVIEWERS OUT THERE!!! And thank you to all those silent people who favourited it!** And READ ON!!!!!


	5. Tobis um, IDEA

Luckily, noone heard Shinos scream, though it was more a yelp of surprise at hearing Deidara, _not_ because he was indeed getting sucked into that little gossip session, Shino assurred himself, as he got onto all fours, ready to dash out from under the table if anyone noticed him. He was in luck though, Deidara began to speak.

"OW! You guys didn't have to scream so loud un," He protested warily as he rubbed his aching ears, "I just came in to ask if you've seen that little Tobi-"

"Hello- pfft-" Smurf interruppted him, his voice in exactly the same tone as Shino remembered Narutos when the great and mighty Uchiha strode proudly around the school, said 'what the hell are you staring at dobe?' in that arrogant voice of his and was immediately laughed at because he had the biggest chunk of spinach in between in teeth and- yeah, something like that.

"What un, are you laughing at hmm?" Deidara was obviously a little peeved at being cut off.

"Nothing," The suspicious lightness of someone who was trying not to laugh filled the smurfs voice, "...So, do you remember that time you went to the hotspring with Itatchi-"

Itatchi. That must be the owner of the pale feets name. Immediately warning bells went through Shinos head. He knew who Itatchi was. This was bad.

"What Kisame means to say is..." Itatchi cut Kisame, the former smurf off. Kisame. He'd heard of that name as well. The wielder of that shark-skin sword that could absorb chakra, Shino could actually see it if he strained his neck a little more under the table. Strange... he thought, it kind of looked like a giant... feather-duster. Of course it was very dangerous though, so Shino would just have to try harder to remember that now. He tuned more into the conversation. Deidara had already replied to Itachi and Itachi was talking again.

"Out of the two hundred and seventy eight deadly poisons being used freely around the ninja world, I dont really think LOVE can really be counted as one Deidara," He mocked, severely irritating Deidara.

"Well it bloody well could be hmm, from the way I think it made me DIE for a few seconds un,"

"Woah really?" Kisame said, and then paused for a bit, "Go Tobi!" Shino could picture Deidara widening his eyes in amazement, and then waving his arms at the shark (not smurf) man furiously.

"Go Tobi?! Whos side are you on?!"

"Honestly Deidara, _you've_ tried to kill him what? A hundred and thirty two times? Its like divine justice. Frankly Im surprised the annoying brat took this long to retaliate..." Itatchi butted in on the conversation, in a somewhat Sasuke-ish mocking tone.

"Oh just shut up Itachi un," Deidara muttered angrily, and Shino could hear the sound of his tapping his foot impatiently, "Oh whatever un, just help me find the little rascal hmm so I can kill him,"

Shino was happy to see the feet were now removed from under the table-cloth, and he could hear the sound of Kisame (who was quite the chuckler) chuckling. Kisame let out a big groan as he got up and presumably stretched. There was the sound of footsteps as they all started walking away.

"I dont see why you guys keep calling him so little and stuff, I mean, if Deidara just got rid of that womanly ponytail *SMACK* Tobi might be taller than him you know..." Kisames voice faded out as they all walked away, and there was a the sound of turning as someone dimmed, and then turned of the lamps, leaving the entire room in pitch black. Immensly glad, Shino let out a massive sigh of relief, glad they were gone. He could get out of this hell-hole now.

He sighed again, just for good measure.

"Tobi is so glad they are gone!!" A voice came from beside him.

---

Shino couldn't help it. He jumped, hit his head on the table and then fainted. Where the hell had Tobi come from? And how long had he been sitting there? Shino didn't know how long he was out, but what he did know was that he had a freaky nightmare about Ino really being Deidara and a smurf whacking him with a featherduster. And when he woke up, he was no longer under the kitchen table.

And there was light. Yes, the warm flicker of fire was present, though the room was still dark, and Shino recognized he was in an office of sorts, complete with dark mahogany office desk and the looming chair that was facing its back to him. The source of the fire, a fireplace which he assumed was being blocked by the chair, was blazing brightly although the light only seemed to reach the tip of the chair. All and it all it seemed a bit calm, cozy... and creepy. Shino got up to leave quietly. Maybe, if he placed his footsteps lightly and swiftly, he could make it out before the person in the chair swivelled rou- aaand it was too late. The chair had swivelled round and it was only revealed to be a shadowy figure sitting there, still as death itself.

Shino took a deep breath as his eyes strained to see the figure behind the darkness of his shades. Strained harder as the figure stood up, his prescence the definition of commanding, but his features still did not clear as he walked purposefully up to Shino, Shino staying perfectly still as the figure lowered his head, as though to whisper something in his ear. Then he clicked the lamp, on his desk, forcefully.

"TOBI IS GLAD THAT YOU ARE NOT DEAD!!!" The familiar voice rang out, nearly bursting his eardrums. He winced a little, "Oh sorry," Tobi apologized, seeing him wince, and then, lowering his voice into the loudest whisper Shino had ever heard, "Tobi is glad that you are not dead!!" Then he paused, dramatically. Shino realised that he expected him to speak.

"Hn," He muttered, a little confused. He wasn't quite sure how to reply to someone like Tobi.... who was for some reason, talking to himself.

"Deidara-sempai said he would do something very bad to Tobi," He muttered darkly, "Tobi nearly killed Deidara-sempai, Deidara-sempai will want to punish Tobi..." He faded off, as Tobi did his little crazy act, and Shino just watched, slowly tiptoeing away, "But what if Tobi is not Tobi, what if Tobi is someone else then Deidara-sempai will not kill Tobi because Tobi is not Tobi and if Tobi is not Tobi then Deidara-sempai will not kill Tobi..." He faded off again as Shino slowly edged his way closer to where he had now located the door. Slowly, he reached for the knob, "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!" Tobi yelled as he pounced onto Shino from halfway accross the room.

Blinking, Shino looked up at Tobi. He had not expected him to do _that. _For someone who generally looked so harmless, this guy could really jump. They just lay there for a while, staring at eachother, Tobi looking strangely menacing in the dark lighting. Suddenly Tobi straightened up and sat on him, seeming happy again. Shino could swear he saw the hole in his mask wink, as he possitively beamed at him brightly. Suddenly, Tobi cocked his head to the side as he looked at him more carefully.

"Tobi likes your glasses..." He commented, and Shino felt truely frightened.

* * *

DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAH!!! The plot thickens!!!! Hehehe Tobi went a little dark there :P Anyway, anyone who can guess whats going to happen gets a marshmellow (The cookies are MINE!!! :O) Lol. :3 Sorry, a little rambling, Ill just stop now. So, see ya tomorrow!!! See ya!!!! :D


	6. Explosion! :D

The next thing he knew, Tobi had taken his glasses.

"There!" He yelled proudly, "Now Tobi will not be recognized!!!" He proudly strutted around, the creepy office, doing what he now assumed to be a victory/chicken/moonbot dance, wearing Shinos shades. Then Shino saw red.

Nope. It wasn't from anger. It wasn't from all the stress he'd kept up bottled inside all day. Shino basically saw red uh, literally. At that minute Tobi exploded, sending little bits of tinted Aburame glass around the floor.

"HA HA HA!!!" An accussing laugh sounded loudly as someones footsteps echoed as they sprinted full speed in Shino and Tobis direction, "I _got_ the little bugger un, I knew I'd planted some explosives on him somewhere!!!"

"I told you- hes not actually _that_ litt-"

"I _told_ you I'd planted some explosives on him earlier un!!!" Deidaras voice rang out clearly as he changed the subject. Now the footsteps came faster and steadily louder with each passing second. Immediately, Shino turned to Tobi, to see the extent of the damage only to see that he was rolling on the ground like crazy. Which of course would have been a very sensible thing to do if any of his _clothes_ was still on fire, but unfortunately they were not. Poor Tobis _hair_ was on fire, and from the way it spiked up, he could roll all he wanted to no effect, as his hair was always lifted off the ground. In short, he looked hilarious, but very agitated. Suddenly, the footsteps drew closer, and Tobi bolted to his feet, surprisingly with no injurys (apart from his hair which was still flaming like crazy. And so, with flaming hair, and orange mask, along with simple wire rims of once beautiful glasses on, Tobi turned to Shino, doing some freaky handsigns while doing so.

"Tobi, HIDE," Tobi whispered melodramatically to Shino, before picking him up with both hands and throwing him out a big window. There was a big dramatic crash as Shino flew through the air, head first, and landed on the ground below with a thud.

Then he ran like crazy.

BACK AT THE AKASUKIS BASE, IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE THE LEADERS OFFICE:

"Ha! Tobi, I knew I'd find you eventually hmm and- OH MY FREAKIN GOD!!!!" Deidara stood dead still as he surveyed the damage of the once beautiful office, in which Tobi sat on the floor dazed, apparently unhurt, but for the licks of fire still present on the top of his hair.

The office looked like it'd been attacked simultaneously by all the legendary sannin and then lit on fire. Everything in the office had been charred by the flames, save for Tobi, who sat in the middle, a black ring of soot around him as he mumbled and rocked a little back and forth.

"Hey what is it Deidara? Did you finally see-" Kisames voice rang out as he ran directly behind him, and then crashed clumsily into him, turning them both into a tangled pile of arms and legs on the floor.

"Honestly yout two, its like Im working with _children_," Itatchi scoffed as he walked up behind the tangled two, and then stood still as he took in his completely trashed surroundings, " Wow," He could only say as he surveyed the charcoal ground in amazement. Then he retained his arrogant pose again, "I really HATE to say this Deidara, as you know I have a wide and varied vocabulary... but I think you really blew it this time," Deidara however, (to Itatchis annoyance) was already two steps ahead of him. Deidara was freaking out.

"Ohhhh crap, ohh crap un, Pein is so gonna kill me!!!"

"Hey, don't worry, all you gotta do is get rid of the evidence! It'll be fine, I know as a fact that right now Pein is all the way at the other side of the base, we got time," Kisame reassured the blond as they untangled themselves.

"Yeah!" Deidara said as he straightned up, decided, "And the only person whos voice could possibly reach Pein is Hidan, and Hidan is-"

"HOLY MOTHER F#%KING JASHIN!!! WHAT THE F#%K DID YOU DO TO PEINS F%&#ING OFFICE!!!??"

Okay. It was official then.

They were all doomed.

* * *

BACK IN KONOHA:

"Gee, why you guys gotta tease me so much about it? It was a simple mistake!" Naruto wailed as yet another pair of young ninja came up to ask him if it was true that he'd just told his class that Shino had super rainbow lazer powers.

"Uh... Because you're a dobe?"

"Oh shut up Sasuke teme!! Nobody _asked _you!!!"

"Actually Naruto, you just di-" Sakura started to point out, but was quickly interruppted by Naruto getting into one of his moods.

"Yeah well if you're so _smart_ and I'm so _stupid_, why don't _you_ tell me whats under Shinos glasses!!!" Naruto carried on, as he turned to face Sasuke grumpily, puffing his cheeks out in frustration.

"Well I don't mind if I do," He responded easily, his trademark smirk making its way onto his face, Im up for anything that shows you how much of a dobe you really are. I'll tell you the mystery of the shades. I mean- its not like its much of a secret or anything..."

"Wait-" Sakura interrupted, the surprise clear on her face, "Are you saying you actually _know_ whats under Shinos shades?!"

Suddenly it seemed like the world had paused, and then resumed again,just to find that a whole lot of people had wormed their way into the scene, all looking at Sasuke in wonder.

"OF COURSE SASUKE DOES!!!" A fangirl yelled out readily, only to be smacked down by all the other fangirls who wanted to be the one to assist in topping up Sasukes ego. Sasukes face got a little annoyed.

"Well uh, I dont know this for sure..." He admitted in an irritated voice, "But it is OBVIOUS really, if you look at the clues..."

Immediately the crowd pushed together closer, in order to hear the great Uchihas assessment more clearly.

"What is it Sasuke?" Sakura asked, genuinely curious. _She_ hadn't found any _obvious _reason fo Shino to wear shades...

"Obviously," Sasuke began, building up momentum, " Hes an ALBINO," He then shrugged as if to say 'duh'.

"... Eh? An albino? Whats that?" Naruto asked obnoxiously, and then, "HEY! Isn't an albino suppossed to be really pale? Whats really pale got to do with wearing sunglasses?!"

"Naruto Naruto Naruto," Sasuke muttered as he shook his head at the offending blonde, "YES an albino is mainly known for being really pale, but they also have extremely sensitive eyes, which are in fact, light pink in colour," He lectured arrogantly.

"Oh I get it!!" Naruto clicked, "Gee, I'd hide my eyes too if they were pink!"

"Um, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, hesitantly, "What about Shinos _hair_? Don't albinos have _white_ hair?"

"-I mean yeah, having purple eyes like Neji is also kinda sissy but it works for him, with his whole long hair thing-"

Sasuke shrugged, "Its a wig,"

"- you don't suppose Neji might end up getting some shades too? I mean it would fit the hippy image pretty well-"

"Why would Shino wear a wig?"

"- I was like: I won't judge you, even if you have girly hair, if you have a girly heart then let it out! Yeah, dunno _why_ he punched me-"

"Hes bald," Sasuke simply shrugged again.

"..." Somehow the idea of Shino being a bald albino didn't quite fit, "Hes... bald?"

"-Hey Neji!! Whats up? I haven't seen you in- OW!!! WHAT THE- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!!!-"

"Yeah, think about it. Bugs eat his hair..."

"Wait- wha?"

"and then he gets a wig, and then being an albino he also gets the glasses. Simple," Sasuke stated, looking annoyed that it hadn't occurred to her sooner.

"..."

"OW NEJI STOP IT IM SORRY OW NEJI IM SORRY!!!!"

"Yeah, I don't think thats really tru-"

"Hey guys!!!" Kiba ran up to them , his tone worried as he sprinted from out of nowhere, "I've found something I need to show you!!!"

* * *

Poor poor Shino. Bald albino? :/ HAHAHA :D Yeah, Sasuke started out strong, but his theory got a few holes in it lol. :P Plus I just felt like writing something really stupid, and this is the only story I was working on at the time, so I just put it in. I think I HAVE to write something stupid every once in a while. Its a condition.:P

Anyways, the next chapter might take a little longer to update, so yeah, you might have to wait a bit to see what Kibas found. :) Hope ya liked the chapter anyway, see ya!!! :D


	7. What the hell did Kiba find?

"What is it Kiba?" Hinata asked worriedly as she glanced up from her little 'debate' with Sasuke.

"I found someone, passed out by the lake!" Kiba said urgently, "I think its Shino!"

"Shino?" Sasuke shouted, and everyone turned to gape at his newfound empathy, "Hes passed out? GREAT! Check his head! See if hes got a wig on!"

...

"...Wig?"

"Don't worry about it Kiba," Ino said before Kiba could say one of the obvious questions in his mind, as the whole group stampeded off to go and 'check' on the poor bug lover (But REALLY they all just wanted to check to see if he really WAS a bald albino, I mean, COME ON! You'd be curious too!).

But when the group made it to the lake (in record time), Shino was no-where to be found.

"Kiba, are you _sure_ you saw him here?" Sasuke asked, annoyed, tapping his foot with impatience. Truthfully, he wasn't sure _where_ that idea of the bald albino had come from, (for all he knew he had been unwittingly _tricked_ into making that conclusion by the _evil_ Hinata, what with all those pointed questions) but now that he had said it, by god was he gonna make sure it was right! After all, the Uchihas intuition is said to be second to none.

"Well, _yeah_!" Kiba said, confused, scratching his head with puzzlement, "He- well- he was right here and, then I left, and..." Kiba trailed off, the whole group staring at the blank spot where Kiba was motioning towards, which looked as undisturbed as ever.

They stared some more.

"Ooookay, well _this_ was a waste of time. What a drag-"

"HEY GUYS! 3," An extremely familiar voice called out, oddly chipper, "How you doing?"

The whole group of ninja turned to the speaker with undisguised shock.

"What. The. FUH-" Shikamaru began, but was cut off by Inos surprised screech of shock.

"SHINO?" She shrieked, voicing a question that need not be answered.

There stood Shino, back straight, his expression surprisingly happy, and he was wearing no glasses.

XXXXXXXXXXXXOXXXXXXXXX

"... Shino?" Naruto asked, scratching his head in bewilderment, his eyes squinty as if he was trying to look into something incredibly bright, "Thats not Shino!" He finally scoffed after a few minutes of deliberation, elbowing Sakura in the side as though to prove it to her "... Theres something wrong with his _face_..."

"Naruto!" Sakura scolded harshly, and smacked him on the upside of his head, now whispering loudly in his ear, "Shinos just missing his glasses. Theres nothing wrong with his _face_, numbskull!"

"Ohhhh..." Naruto agreed with sudden understanding, then with a happy grin on his face, "I _knew_ there was something different about him!"

"No DUH, Sherlock," Sasuke retorted, his sarcasm biting, "Only YOU would be dumb enough not to recognize someone without their glasses, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know that Superman and Clark Kent are the _same_-..."

"No way! They're the same person?"

...

"..." Everyone, who had been busy moving around importantly but in actuallity not doing anything at all froze. Surprisingly, the person who had uttered those idiotic words, was _not_ Naruto. _Shino_ stood in front of them, positively _beaming _as his eyes (which they had not seen due to his unfortunate positioning in the sunlight) squinted in a full out _girly_ chibi look.

"... Okay, something is _definately_ wrong with this picture..." Shikamaru was heard to mutter as the whole group stared in freaked out silence.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hmmm, now tell me Kisame, _what_ is wrong with this picture right here?" Deidara asked pointedly as he waved to the the direction where Tobi was getting yelled at by a very pissed off Pain about the state of his office. Kisame shrugged.

"... Uhhhhhhhhhhh... the ceiling hasn't collapsed even though just about all of the support beams in the room are broken?"

"Nuh-uh,"

"Well then, I don't know then," Kisame shrugged, not really caring.

"Its Tobi un," Deidara whispered melodramatically, having to tiptoe a little to reach Kisames ear which worried Kisame quite a bit, (He hoped Deidara wasn't making any kind of move on him or something...) but he kept his poker-face as he fought the urge to push Deidara to a better distance away from him.

"What _about_ Tobi?" He asked instead, greatly relieved when the sunshine blonde moved back down onto his normal footing in response.

"Can't you tell un? The little bastards not smiling..." Deidara scowled and turned conspirationally to the blue man. Kisame frowned.

"How can you _tell_? He wears a mask that covers his whole-"

"Im his partner un, I can just tell these things!" Deidara butted in, now squinting his eyes in a scowl that could rival the Uchihas, "That little bugger hmm is always smiling, but now hes quiet... too quiet..." Deidara trailed off, deep in suspicious thought. Kisame simply raised his eyebrows.

"Riiiight," He said doubtfully, and then got up to leave, sensing that this was a situation that he did not want to be involved in, "I'm just...gonna go hang out with Itatchi..."

"TRAITOR! YOU SENSE IT TOO UN! YOU'RE JUST AFRAID OF WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HMM! TOBI IS-" Deidara went on, not even noticing that Sasori had already finished yelling at Tobi, with a final order that he clean the place up and got rid of all his damn rabbits he'd been keeping lately.

"Tobi is right behind you," Tobis said, in a quiet and normal sounding voice.

Deidara was just about scared to death.

Ok, I know what your thinking... I went AWOL for a long time... and all I got for you is this one little chapter. ^_^' Ahehe so sorry about that...

Its just, I was REALLY in a state of writers block, and I totally forgot about this story for a while until I got a review from someone asking me to update it. :P

So here it is, another chapter to the newly revived Shino:Behind the shades, with a... freaky friday kinda twist to it I guess. :P

See ya!

ps. PLEASE dont kill me if it sucks. =(

pps. I just realised how random it looks after a while of not reading the story... o_O


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